To reattach or not to reattach?

I have the day off, normally I'd head out and grab breakfast, but not today. Today is prep day.  Tomorrow I have an unpleasant procedure scheduled that involves cameras, I won't go any further that than that in the description.  The key issue is I'm not allowed to eat, in fact I've not eaten since Monday night.  I've been on a clear fluid diet for all of yesterday and today.  It's no so bad, as long as you keep drinking you don't really get hungry.  The issue is really about the energy level.  There is no protein, no fat. So while there is a fire going, it's as if I'm just dumping piles of hay on it.  It doesn't last, it just burns really quick.

Now whenever I find myself in situations where I am not allowed eating, I tend to think about food.  Not so much "oh I'm hungry, I wish I could eat", but more along the lines of  "Man, when this is over, I'm getting chicken fried steak*". But quite frankly what I'm going to have for dinner tomorrow after the scope is not the topic at hand.

I've started thinking about what I will do after the surgery**.  More specifically, I've been thinking about the reconnection.

Now this surgery might be the first of upwards of 3surgeries. Specifically only the first one is required, the one where they remove my dying colon.  The following surgery(s) are for the sole purpose of reconstructing the the remaining segments of the digestive tract to create an internal reservoir to negate the need for an external pouch.  I've decided that I'll already delay the second surgery for at least a year. In theory I can get everything done in the span of a year.

I've been sick for awhile, not nearly as long as some people, but enough to really reflect on all of this.  It started in the summer of  2008.  I spent several months suffering from pneumonia and bronchitis.  that caused me to quit smoking. Apparently the smoking was the only thing keeping the Colitis at bay. The summer 2009, I was flaring they tried new medication which gave me pancreatitis.  Last year was the summer of hospitals.  this year will be the summer of surgery. I don't want to do another year of surgery.

Now from what I've read, stories of people who have an ostomy. Dealing with it becomes second nature, changing the bag, emptying it etc.  Whereas with the reconnection I will have to go to the washroom 10 times a day. It is basically like being in a flare, except no pain, and I'm not limited in what I can eat. There are also a great deal of stories about people that have had surgery to get the bag reattached because they couldn't handle the changes.

I'm undecided. I'll give it at least a year.  I might even wait two so that I can have at least one summer where I don't visit the hospital.  Maybe go back to Cuba.

I don't know yet.

*I've decided to make the "chicken fried steak" a recurring theme.
**I've also been thinking about how I can gain access to baby goats, so that I can lay with them and feed them tin cans.

Gin Soaked Boy

I have yet to meet with the surgeon, and beyond Isabel, no one that I have written to has sent a response so I have no news on either front, however something is starting to set it.

Now aside from the obvious duty of the colon, it's secondary function is to reclaim water from food.  Now seeing as mine only partially works, I already get dehydrated a fair amount. Once it's gone the risk of dehydration is even higher.  The main cause of hangovers is dehydration.

Once I have the surgery I will no longer be able to drink heavily.  Now drinking is something I am good at, I always have been.  I don't drink daily or even weekly, but when I go out I like to have a few.  Shortly after being diagnosed,I found out (the hard way) that I am prone to hangovers. I've gotten hangovers while remaining completely lucid and sober the night before, it's the curse of having a high tolerance. (On vacation there was an occasion where I managed to open and close a bar, keep in mind the hours of operation were only from 9am to 6 pm, but I still did it (Cuba, 2007- Brisas Santa Lucia))

So in addition to providing my colon a last meal, I think I'm going to need to go on a some sort of drinking binge.  Not a multi-day bender (I am a semi-productive member of society after all), but a night to a remember that I probably won't.

Any suggestions as to what and/or where I should be drinking?  Keep in mind location really doesn't matter, if the suggestion is awesome, I'll try to make it happen (The sharing of drinking stories is encouraged)

Why I'm doing this

I realised that this blog will take some time to get rolling, and I'm going to need to do something to keep everyone interested until the suggestions start rolling in. So I decided that I should write a bit more about the motivations behind this project.  And forgive me as it may get a bit long winded.
I turned 30 last week (Thursday to be exact) and last night was the party for it, thankfully I was not hungover this morning.  Now when talking with a friend of mine I found out that he thought that what I was searching for was going to be my last proper meal ever.  This is not the case,  this search is for the "last meal" that will go through my colon. I'll have the surgery, they'll take out the colon, and in return I'll have bag on the outside of my body doing most of what the colon was supposed to. It'll take some time, but in theory within a few months after the surgery I will be able to properly eat a meal. There will be a period where I will be going through a liquid only diet, a bland diet, a low fibre/low impact diet and in time I'll go back to solid foods and proper meals. I'll still have a bag attached to my stomach for when my body is done with said meal (there is no real delicate way to put it).

So if the change to what I can eat is only temporary, then why am I doing this?

 For me Ulcerative Colitis has been a disease of "whens" not "ifs".  I've been on two drugs almost the entire time, Salofalk and Prednisone. We have tried other courses of action. Last year I was on a drug called Imuran, which put me in the hospital as the drug caused me to develop Pancreatitis.  A  couple of months ago I was on Remicade, the first dose of this drug gave me Serum Sickness, when we tried it again I went in anaphylaxis. With the failure of both medications it leaves me with Prednisone.  And Prednisone is not a pretty drug.
 Let's say I attempt to stay on Prednisone and I manage to keep the disease under control and my colon lasts another 10-15 years, I will develop diabetes and osteoporosis from the long term use of Prednisone. During this period the risk of me developing colon cancer shoots up dramatically, and my colon would get removed due to cancer. If I stay the course I'm on now, and continue with my medication regime.  My medical life become a series of "whens".  "When will I develop diabetes?". "When will I develop osteoporosis?".  "When will I develop cancer?".  And after all of that I will still each the inevitable "When will they remove my colon?".  Ultimately this is my choice in the end.

There is a difference between knowing something is going to happen and being ready for it, and quite simply I'm not ready for it.  Which is why this blog and my search for this "Last Meal" exists, it's a form of therapy to help get me to that point.

 When I was a kid I wanted to be a chef. And in the end I got there, I worked in restaurants, I graduated from culinary school. But I realised it wasn't the being a chef that I was in love with it was food and cooking. In fact working in a kitchen made me miserable. Except for the first restaurant that I got a job at.

I remember being in high school and working as a dishwasher in a small restaurant. And at the end of the night I had to sweep and mop the kitchen.  But at the end of the night there was a specific smell, it was a mix of all of the herbs and spices that the Chef used that would accumulate on the floor, and in sweeping them up they would mix together and fill the air. That would have been 13-14 years ago. A couple of years ago I went into small grocery store and I can't explain it but as I was walking through the store there was the exact same smell in the air, and I was flooded with memories. The wait staff that was there, specific CDs that the chef would play when it got busy. The restaurant doesn't exist anymore, and that makes me a little sad, as they were like family and not only did it mark a period in my life, but it helped me define who I am today. There are dishes and sauces that I learned there that I still make from time to time, and when I do that it's the same rush of memories and feelings.
What I'm trying to say is that with food there are memories, the two are forever linked.  This blog is as much about the emotions and stories that are tied with food, as it is about the food itself. So I don't just want to know what I should have, but I want to know why I should have it.  And it doesn't necessarily need to be realistic.  If you were on road trip and you stopped at a diner in Kentucky and ordered a burger, and that the burger was the greatest burger you had ever eaten. I want to know where it was, I want to know what made that burger awesome, but most of all I want to know the story that lead you to that burger, and why you think I should go track that burger down.

Write me, tell me what I should eat and why.
And if any of you know Belle & Sebastian, I sent them a request through their website, tell them to check their mail.
Thanks
Jason
TheLastSupperProject@gmail.com